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02/25/2006: "Computer One Liners"

Computer One Liners

1. If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

2. Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.

3. Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects.

4. Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.

5. Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.

6. Relax, it's only ONES and ZEROS!

7. Hardware: The parts of a computer you can kick!

8. error: brain fried, core dumped

9. 640K ought to be enough for anybody.
Bill Gates in 1981

10. Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.

11. Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

12. As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

13. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

14. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.

15. Never let a computer know you're in a hurry.

16. No electrons were harmed in the creation of this message.

17. THINK it gives you something to do while the computer is down.

18. To err is human. To really screw things up you need a computer.

19. Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons.
Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

20. But what ... is it good for?
Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.

21. There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp, 1977

22. With computers, every morning is the dawn of a new error.